Jokes

Man came home, saw his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend. Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose all your friends.”

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.' - Jerry Lewis

“Please keep your dog beside you, sir,” a woman said crossly to the man sitting opposite to her on the bench at the part. “I can feel a flea in my shoe.”
“Midnight, come here,” replied the man. “This woman has fleas.”

A: Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?” B: All the time.

Sardar: Doctor, my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
She said, “Somewhere I have never been!”
I told her, “How about the kitchen?”