Humorous Quotes

Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom. I am not, as will be seen, in any sense attacking logic: I only say that this danger does lie in logic, not in imagination. - G.K. Chesterton

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done. - Marge

Boredom is my worst enemy. It's killed a lot of my friends, but it won't get me. When I get bored, I go risk my life somewhere. - Larry Niven

Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly. - Arnold Edinborough

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it. - Steven Wright

Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up. - John C. Maxwell

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened. - Will Rogers

As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria. - David Auerbach

The only exercise I’ve done last month was, “Running out of money”! - Unknown

Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. - William Feather

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it. - Unknown

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